This Year

This year was devastating for me. My wife Mona, the love of my life, and my partner in all things, died on September 13th. Everything else pales in comparison. My kids lost their mother, her parent's lost another daughter. I lost my best friend, the only person who really understood me, the only woman I ever really loved.

I have tried and failed to adequately write about Mona since she died, she deserves to be written about, but I can't make it work yet.

I am told that in a few more months things will become marginally better for me, but it's hard to see right now.

I moved back up to Oswego county, the snowiest place on earth. I plan to start a new D&D campaign in the next few weeks, if I can find players. I need to find something to keep me busy, and I have tons of material from prepping my last campaign down in the Valley. We had just started playing when Mona died. She played the night she went into the hospital for the last time, it was the second session of the campaign, and the first had been a character creation, "session 0", that was a Friday night. If she hadn't gone into the hospital we'd have played my "Jigoku" campaign the next day, Saturday; we'd played 1/2 a dozen sessions of that one. Her character was a Mongol princess there, initially leading troops in their invasion of Japan, I think if that game had continued, if she hadn't died, it would have been truly epic, and one of the best characters Mona ever played.

Yesterday marked 15 weeks since my Mona died and it still doesn't feel entirely real to me, I am lost without her.